Thought for the Day:
“If you are sure you understand everything that’s going on, you are hopelessly confused.”
Question for the Day:
Do you think Candace Owens is confused or nah?
I know black people who are instantly triggered by the name Candace Owens. To them, she is a self-hating token who has sold her people out in hopes of winning favor with people who likely don’t even see her. See Me Okay fine, I’m those people. However, I’m also a therapist, so I tend to look for underlying causes as to why people think and behave the way that they do. In the case of a black woman like Candace, who has personally experienced racism, I just can’t take the ridiculous things she says at face value. In my opinion, no black person would choose to use their platform to dig into unhealed racial wounds and align themselves with race-baiting bigots unless they were one of two things; severely personality disordered or desperately pursuing a come up. (or possibly both) In this post, I’ll examine the evidence and attempt to decipher what is most likely true. I’d hate to believe that there is no cure for this dangerous strand of “psuedo-blackness” so please God, let it be treatable.
Theory #1 – Candace is severely personality disordered
So, from a psychological perspective, individuals who are personality disordered develop a flawed way of relating to their environment, usually as the result of some type of childhood trauma. Traumatic experiences literally change a person’s brain chemistry which can make it difficult for them to regulate their thoughts, emotions and behaviors. What I’ve learned about Candace is that when she was 17, she received death threats because of her race. As a product of Stamford, CT, I’m sure she was one of only a few African Americans in her community. It’s probable that knowing she was targeted for her blackness was traumatizing on some level. Ironically, the person making the threat was the son of the city’s mayor. (crazy, right?) Her and her grandparents sued the school board and received a settlement because according to Wikipedia, the threats were “horrendous.”
So off top, you cannot convince me that Candace Owens doesn’t know what it feels like to be discriminated against. However, I could see how this might provoke an extreme response to racial issues. Perhaps, she’s somewhat afraid of her blackness and the risk it poses. Maybe she resents her blackness for keeping her from being appreciated to the same degree as her white counterparts. She could have developed an internal disdain for racists that she had to suppress as a citizen of Stamford. Or, maybe she coped by being overly accommodating to white people as to not scare them and assure them she wasn’t a threat. Regardless, she clearly sees race in extreme terms and applies black or white thinking when critiquing a culture she cannot escape. Black or white thinking and behavioral extremes are commonly found in people with personality disturbances.
If this theory is correct, it would explain why her political and social views have bounced from pillar to post. Her personal ideologies have run the gamut from slamming Trump and all things conservative to happily sporting MAGA attire. People with personality issues often mold their identities and viewpoints to match those of whoever they believe will accept them. Most personality disorders are driven by a fear of abandonment and are marked by unstable relationships, an unclear or shifting self-image, impulsive or self-destructive behaviors, self-harming behaviors, emotional swings, and anger. Candace’s parents divorced when she was young and she was raised by her grandparents so the possibility of a fear of abandonment is strong. Add to that the racially-motivated threats, and it is possible that she felt rejected by her peers and community. She might have even developed an internalized fear that her blackness would mean she would never be fully accepted, which most black people know is legitimate. Therefore, being accepted by white people might be of the utmost importance to a black person who fears abandonment. Though just a theory, let’s take a closer look at how the characteristics of a personality disorder seem to apply to the life of Candace Owens.
Unstable relationships: According to Wiki, Candace was engaged via Face Time to a man in England that she had only known for three weeks. The two were married shortly thereafter. That doesn’t seem like a very sensible and stable way to begin a relationship. But he has money and is the son of a conservative British bigwig, so what else is there to know? Plus, her friends and “heroes” include Kanye West and Trump so if we’re talking unstable relationships, need I say more?
Unclear or shifting self image: In 2015, Owens was the CEO and writer for Degree 180, a marketing agency whose stance was very anti-Trump. She personally referred to conservatives and the Republican Tea Party as “bat s**t crazy” and stated she wished they’d all die off. But by 2017 she declared that she had “became a conservative overnight” and was rubbing elbows with the same people she had so heavily criticized two years prior. She was now guest hosting on Fox News, headlining at MAGA rallies, and working with the staunchly right-winged Turning Point, USA as their “Director of Urban Engagement.” (code for high paid token black)
Impulsive and self destructive behaviors: Just on the strength of voting for Donald Trump, self-destruction is at play here. It’s like this woman has zero emotional intelligence and has given her brain way too many days off. Some of the impulsive and reckless things she’s said are that “something biochemically happens to women who do not marry or have children” before tagging some of her single female critics in a Twitter post. She exploited the death of a woman killed by an undocumented immigrant for political gain and was so offensive in her remarks that even the murdered woman’s family disapproved. She dismissed their disapproval calling it a “strange attack on Trump supporters.” And when she stated publicly that she had no issue with the word “nationalism” and believed Hitler just “wanted to make Germany great” she was clearly suffering from a horrible bout of diarrhea of the mouth. Evidently, she does engage in self-destructive behaviors because comments like those are the definition of letting your mouth write a check your behind can’t cash.
Self Harming Behaviors: Riding for a president who openly disrespects people who look like her is the ultimate in self harm. She excuses the behavior of unethical police officers and blames victims of police brutality. This surely delights racists eager for an excuse to inflict more pain onto people of color, which includes her! It’s her flippant and disrespectful rhetoric such as “George Floyd was no martyr” that inspires hate and intolerance. In fact, the perpetrator of the Christ Church mosque shootings referenced Candace Owens as the person who “influenced him above all.” I’m not sure how she sleeps at night knowing that, but people who self-harm are usually emotionally numb to the pain they’re causing. I suppose Candace is no exception.
Mood Swings and Anger: At one point Owens launched a website that was aimed to “expose bullies on the internet.” Well, users ended up complaining that Owens and the site were harassing the very users they were supposed to be protecting. Users accused them of public shaming and encouraging those who disagreed with another’s opinion to retaliate. Running a website aimed at reducing internet bullying and then being accused of being the worst bully of them all is interesting. But it’s stumping for the biggest internet bully of all time that’s MOST telling about what Owens really thinks about decorum and the importance of anger management.
Theory #2 – Candace is in desperate pursuit of the come up
Honestly, though I believe there is some form of mental illness at play here, she’s not too crazy to chase that check by any means necessary! Candace has taken a page out of Omarosa’s playbook and decided to cancel her black card until further notice or at least until the gravy train reaches her stop. Live from the Sunken Place…it’s Omarosa! Whether she needs professional help or not, I think it still boils down to her being willing to pimp her blackness out to the highest bidder. A pimp makes their money by exploiting others weaknesses and permitting others to do the same. Their pursuit of financial gain is always more important than what’s best for the ones they hurt. In my opinion, this is a woman who underachieved in early adulthood and decided she needed a win. Most people know that there is little reward in speaking truth, standing for justice and aligning yourself with the poor, underserved, or disadvantaged. (Just ask Bernie) Maybe her own run-in with bigotry was initially inspiring, but didn’t pay off quickly enough. Getting on MAGA’s payroll might have seemed like the next right thing because it paid well, but she’ll learn one day that the benefits still stink.
Racist people are always on the lookout for anything and anybody that will give them an excuse to hate. Trump’s campaign runs on premium grade hatred, so what better person to have on your team than Candace Owens who gives him and his supporters the green light to conduct business as usual. Candace gives corrupt police officers, George Zimmerman and Gregory and Travis McMichael permission to say, “See, black people ARE the problem, even one of their own says so!” Candace has made a conscious choice to aid in the oppression of vulnerable people…. for a price. So while she’s standing at podiums calling George Floyd a “thug” and convincing the masses to consider the loss of his life as negligible, SHE’s actually the real gangsta. Personality disorder or not, that’s pimpin’ baby.
“Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others”